Saturday, December 24, 2011

感恩



【前言】
2006年感恩節前的一個星期五晚上,我參加了一個基督徒的小組聚會。帶領的人要求每個人都要做一個對神的感恩見證,由他率先帶頭。因為我是客人,所以他安排讓我最後發言。

弟兄姊妹們一個接一個的,感謝神在他們生命中的帶領,醫治、保守;有換工作的、搬家的、兒女教育問題的、找到終身伴侶的…等等。他們都很感激,在他們信了神以後,神實在很愛他們,對他們很照顧。

等快輪到我的時候,我發現,他們所做的見證,每一件都曾經發生在我的身上,只是都發生在我還不認識這偉大的神之前,在我還不信祂以前;所以我對他們說:「在我還不信神之前,神就很照顧我了。」

【不認識神】
我在五十年的歲月中,不認識我們的神,認為創造宇宙萬物,主宰一切的神並不存在。外婆家是信基督教的,父親什麼都不信,祖母卻是到處吃齋,拿香跟拜,和尚、尼姑、道士不分的迷信者。

外婆和母親因為外祖父英年早逝,家道中落,寡母孤兒們受不了教會人士的勢利眼和指指點點,所以不再參加教會聚會。母親告訴我,那些都是披著宗教外衣,假冒偽善的一群人。她教導我:「凡事只能靠自己,別人做得到的,你也一定能做到。」母親認為凡事有都唯一的事實和真理。

6歲時,本來優渥的家境,因為父親經商失敗,工廠倒閉,家計瀕於絕境。三年後,我們借居外婆家,那段時間我在外祖父的書房裡讀了很多書,有聖經、三國演義、水滸傳… 暢流、拾穂和皇冠等雜誌。我把聖經當故事書看,所以念歸念,根本不知道在寫些什麼。

我在成長的過程中,信守母親的家訓,學業順利,一直到當兵,到中科院上班,兩度出國,最後移民美國德州;我們相信,所有的成就,都是出於自己的努力。

【陷於泥沼,不能自拔】
初中聯考上了南部最好的學校以後,我開始懷疑唸書除了應付考試以外,到底還有什麼用處?用心唸書有什麼用?尤其是在念大學時,下棋、打牌和打球都比唸書來得重要。大四下學期時,甚至跑到台北,一面補習日文一面兼家教。所以在年輕的生命中,開始陷入應付應付和混日子的泥沼。為什麼是泥沼呢?因為掉進去以後,就無法自拔。

30歲攜家帶眷移民美國德州的Houston時,我知道必須在美國再混一張文憑。在Houston 有一家很有名的大學 Rice University,還有一家很普遍的大學 University of Hoston (UH)。根據我的選擇,我要申請UH,混一混,趕快出來找工作。不少人認為我念交大,應該去申請Rice這種好學校;我很誠實的告訴他們:「我並不是真正的想唸書,只是要混一張文憑而已。」因為已經陷在混日子的泥沼裡了。

不想好好的唸書,不是問題,但想要去混一張文憑,欺哄他人,這才是問題。

本來認為申請UH應該是手到擒來,沒想到等到快開學了,還沒有下文。所以,找了一天,殺到學校,當面請問Graduate Adviser,到底出了什麼問題?原來是承辦員把“交大”打成了“X大”(英文拼錯了)Adviser Dr. Long當場道歉,因為電機系裡現有的幾位交大校友都很優秀,所以他評估,等下星期承辦人回來,我一定可以得到入學許可。

在返家的途中,經過Rice University,決定到電機系去看看,問了秘書小姐幾個問題,她告訴我:「研究生還有缺,可以馬上申請。」她帶我去看Graduate Adviser Dr. Parker,他知道我不在意沒有獎學金,當場就告訴我:「You got it, congratulation !」就這樣,我進了原來就不想去的一個很好,也要求很高,沒得混的學校。

我拼了老命,從念幼稚園開始唸書以來,從來沒有這麼認真被動的唸書過;我不斷的想混,也有人想幫我混,但從未得逞。有一個Princeton 出身的猶太教授,從第一學期到畢業,我每學期都得修他的課;畢業那天,他告訴我,他的唯一使命就是維護Rice的校譽和學術地位。我感激他一輩子,但是過一兩年,他就被幹掉了,因為學生們一直給他很低的評等。

【還是不認識神】
我畢業後,一路做事都很順利。過不了幾年,我發現自己不適合當伸手領錢的授薪階級,卻比較像到處幫人解決困難的顧問。所以自己就出來創業,除了解決電腦的問題以外,也幫助研究員們,在電腦應用的領域實現他們的夢想。十幾年下來,以往那些混飯吃,混日子,或騙騙人的想法,從沒發生過。我覺得自己很聰明,很厲害,再加上很會使用電腦,哇!實在不得了,一切靠自己,要錢有錢,要閑有閑,要什麼有什麼,哇!自己實在不得了。真的嗎?

【認識神】
50 歲那年,神終於幫我認識了祂自己。我曾經用一年半的時間在聖經裡尋求真理,最後,祂用自己的方式,讓我知道,祂就是真理。往後的日子裡,祂不斷的用各種的啟示,使我更加的認識祂。

祂對我是如此的疼惜,當我的自由意志選擇混日子墮落而不能自拔時,祂用不可思議的安排,把我從泥沼中拯救出來,但是我卻不認識祂。假如我當年如願的輕輕鬆鬆的從UH出來,我想在專業上一定沒有像在Rice時的專攻和造就;事後就得不斷的混混騙下去。我怎能不說謊呢?

【感恩】
我們的神,絕對不是功利的;祂絕對不是因為我們信了祂,祂才存在,祂才護祐我們。我仔仔細細的回看來頭路,處處可以看到祂給我無比的愛,特殊的恩惠;我卻以為是自己的能幹,自己的努力。摸摸良心,自己想到UH混,怎會落到Rice受苦?這是神的疼惜和干預。想到這兒,只有落淚和感恩。

Saturday, December 17, 2011

THAT INCREDIBLE CHRISTIAN

 A. W. Tozer
(1897-1963)

令人難以置信的基督徒

根據我所聽來的和所讀到的,我相信,許多宗教領袖們目前要將基督教的精神和科學、哲學和每一個自然和理性的東西協和一致的努力,是因為他們不了解基督教的精神而且也不了解科學和哲學。

基督教體系的核心在於基督的十架和它的神性矛盾(譯者注:如愛與公義)。基督教精神的動力呈現於對於墮落人類行為的憎惡,而非與其同流合污。十架的真理就展現在它的對立中。教會的見證,最有效力的在於作宣告而非作解釋,因為福音並非針對理性而是信心。我們對可被證明的東西不需要信心就能接受。信心是來自神的特性而非來自實驗室或邏輯的證明。

十字架蒼勁的矗立於與自然人相對的地位;祂的哲學與未重生的心靈的運作是背道而馳的;所以使徒保羅可以很不客氣地說:對那些要淪亡的人傳講十字架的道是愚蠢的。嚐試在十架的信息和人類墮落的理性之間找到共同點是等同於緣木求魚,如果堅持下去,最可能結果就是一個破損的理性、一個毫無意義的十字架和一個無作用力的基督教。

讓我們把整件事情從學理的高論下到簡單的觀察真正的基督徒,看他如何的實踐耶穌基督和祂的門徒的教導。注意那些對比。

基督徒相信在基督裡他已經死了,但他卻是比以前更活躍而且完全期待永遠的活下去。他在世上走動時已經落籍在天堂,雖然他是生在地上,但是在重生以後,他發現這裡不再是他的家。正如夜鷹,牠在空中的優雅美麗本質,到了地上卻成了笨拙醜陋;所以基督徒在天堂美地所顯現的優點,卻無法適切的適應在他原生的社會裡。

基督徒很快就發現:假如他想在世人中間當個勝利的天堂之子的話,他一定不可以順著人類的一般模式,卻要反其道而行。他把自己擺在險境中或許是穩當的;他不顧性命而保存了生命;假如他想要保全性命反而有失掉生命的危險。他向下走而得到高升;假如他拒絕向下走,他就已經完了;但是當他開始走下去,他是在步步高升。

他在最軟弱的時候最堅強;而堅強時最軟弱。雖然貧窮卻有力量使其他的人富有;但是當他變得有錢以後,他的使人富有的能力就消失了。他把能給的都施捨了以後,他有盡所有;他擁有很多時卻一無所有。

當他感到很卑微時或許經常是最高超的;當他最有罪惡感時是最清白的。當他知道他的無知時他是最聰明的;當他獲得最大量的知識時他知道他懂得很少。他有時藉著無為而有大量的成就;靜止不動而能無遠弗屆。

基督徒自相矛盾的性格一直在顯現出來;譬如:他相信他現在已經得救了,卻還盼望著以後會被拯救而且對未來的救恩滿懷喜樂。他敬畏神卻不懼怕神;在神的面前他感到不知所措和自覺形慚,卻不想到任何地方而寧願選擇神的同在。他知道他已經脫離他的罪性而潔淨了,然而他還是痛苦的意識到從他的肉身裡出不了甚麼好事情。

The current effort of so many religious leaders to harmonize Christianity with science, philosophy and every natural and reasonable thing is, I believe, the result of failure to understand Christianity and, judging from what I have heard and read, failure to understand science and philosophy as well.

At the heart of the Christian system lies the cross of Christ with its divine paradox. The power of Christianity appears in its antipathy toward, never in its agreement with, the ways of fallen men. The truth of the cross is revealed in its contradictions. The witness of the church is most effective when she declares rather than explains, for the gospel is addressed not to reason but to faith. What can be proved requires no faith to accept. Faith rests upon the character of God, not upon the demonstrations of laboratory or logic.

The cross stands in bold opposition to the natural man. Its philosophy runs contrary to the processes of the unregenerate mind, so that Paul could say bluntly that the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness. To try to find a common ground between the message of the cross and man's fallen reason is to try the impossible, and if persisted in must result in an impaired reason, a meaningless cross and a powerless Christianity.

But let us bring the whole matter down from the uplands of theory and simply observe the true Christian as he puts into practice the teachings of Christ and His apostles. Note the contradictions:

The Christian believes that in Christ he has died, yet he is more alive than before and he fully expects to live forever. He walks on earth while seated in heaven and though born on earth he finds that after his conversion he is not at home here. Like the nighthawk, which in the air is the essence of grace and beauty but on the ground is awkward and ugly, so the Christian appears at his best in the heavenly places but does not fit well into the ways of the very society into which he was born.

The Christian soon learns that if he would be victorious as a son of heaven among men on earth he must not follow the common pattern of mankind, but rather the contrary. That he may be safe he puts himself in jeopardy; he loses his life to save it and is in danger of losing it if he attempts to preserve it. He goes down to get up. If he refuses to go down he is already down, but when he starts down he is on his way up.

He is strongest when he is weakest and weakest when he is strong. Though poor he has the power to make others rich, but when he becomes rich his ability to enrich others vanishes. He has most after he has given most away and has least when he possesses most.

He may be and often is highest when he feels lowest and most sinless when he is most conscious of sin. He is wisest when he knows that he knows not and knows least when he has acquired the greatest amount of knowledge. He sometimes does most by doing nothing and goes furthest when standing still. In heaviness he manages to rejoice and keeps his heart glad even in sorrow.

The paradoxical character of the Christian is revealed constantly. For instance, he believes that he is saved now, nevertheless he expects to be saved later and looks forward joyfully to future salvation. He fears God but is not afraid of Him. In God's presence he feels overwhelmed and undone, yet there is nowhere he would rather be than in that presence. He knows that he has been cleansed from his sin, yet he is painfully conscious that in his flesh dwells no good thing.

He loves supremely One whom he has never seen, and though himself poor and lowly he talks familiarly with One who is King of all kings and Lord of all lords, and is aware of no incongruity不相稱 in so doing. He feels that he is in his own right altogether less than nothing, yet he believes without question that he is the apple of God's eye and that for him the Eternal Son became flesh and died on the cross of shame.

The Christian is a citizen of heaven and to that sacred citizenship he acknowledges first allegiance; yet he may love his earthly country with that intensity of devotion that caused John Knox to pray "O God, give me Scotland or I die."

He cheerfully expects before long to enter that bright world above, but he is in no hurry to leave this world and is quite willing to await the summons of his Heavenly Father. And he is unable to understand why the critical unbeliever should condemn him for this; it all seems so natural and right in the circumstances that he sees nothing inconsistent about it.

The cross-carrying Christian, furthermore, is both a confirmed pessimist and an optimist the like of which is to be found nowhere else on earth.

When he looks at the cross he is a pessimist, for he knows that the same judgment that fell on the Lord of glory condemns in that one act all nature and all the world of men. He rejects every human hope out of Christ because he knows that man's noblest effort is only dust building on dust.


Yet he is calmly, restfully optimistic. If the cross condemns the world the resurrection of Christ guarantees the ultimate triumph of good throughout the universe. Through Christ all will be well at last and the Christian waits the consummation. Incredible Christian!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

你必定死!


神對亞當說:「只是分別善惡樹上的果子,你不可吃,因為你吃的日子必定死!」(創世紀217)


神創造天地萬物以後,又造了人,就是人類的始祖 亞當。那時,神在東方的伊甸立了一個園子,叫伊甸園。神使各樣的樹從地裡長出來,可以悅人的眼目,其上的果子好作食物。園子當中又有生命樹和分別善惡的樹。神把亞當安置在伊甸園,使他修理,看守。耶和華  神吩咐他說:「園中各樣樹上的果子,你可以隨意吃,只是分別善惡樹上的果子,你不可吃,因為你吃的日子必定死!」後來神又幫他造了個女人當配偶,名叫夏娃。

看來一切都很美好,只是有一天那個日子終於到來,他們吃了那不該吃的果子。

結果呢?亞當並沒有像我們想像中的暴斃,或被那果子毒死了。他們是被神懲罰了。不過日子雖苦,他們還傳宗接代(就是現代的人類),亞當共活了九百三十歲才壽終正寢。現代絕大多數的人都不能相信:這叫做“你必定死”?

如果我們相信神的話語無誤,那“必定死”的死的意義一定不是我們尋常的肉體生命的死亡。從創世紀第三章末尾的犯罪的嚴厲處分是 ─ 趕出了伊甸園,無法再見神的面,也沒機會吃生命樹的果子,不能永遠活著,換另一種說法 ─ 失掉了永生。

神照著自己的形像造人,要他們管理海裡的魚、空中的鳥、地上的牲畜,和全地,並地上所爬的一切昆蟲 (創世紀126) 。所以亞當的第一個職務就是當上了伊甸園的園丁和管理員。神對於有自己形像的人類,有特殊的看重和托付;要一個人能夠以神對於被造物的愛心和智慧來管理萬物,就必須具有從神而來的公義和愛心,也就是從神而來的生命。

所以當人類因為背逆,失了樂園,也失掉了永恆的生命以後,我們一面可以看到人類的墮落與貪婪,是如何的糟蹋了這個美麗的地球生態環境;但是另一面,人類的聰明才能,也不斷的創造文明,傳承藝術才華;展現出神的榮耀。

神將祂的愛子,以一個人的樣式來到人世間,活出個人對神的盡心的愛和完全的順服;並以無罪羔羊的身分,被釘死在十架上,代贖世人的罪孽;三日後的復活,帶給了每個失掉永生的罪人一個重生的第二次機會。

你會相信你已經死了,因為相信耶穌基督的為你救贖,使你又活了嗎?