人性的枷鎖(6)

人性的枷鎖OF HUMAN BONDAGE

BY W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM毛姆

1915

中譯Bill Lin

第6章 生活

在牧師樓裡過日子，一成不變。

一吃過早餐，瑪麗安就把泰晤士報The Times 拿進來。這份報紙是凱里先生和兩位鄰居合訂的。他是十點至下午一點，然後園丁就拿去給萊姆斯Limes 莊的埃利斯Ellis 先生，一直到下午七點再送交梅諾Manor 大廈的布魯克斯Brooks 小姐。因為她最後看，報紙便是她的了。凱里太太夏天製作果醬時，經常跟她要張報紙來包果醬罐。

當牧師專心看報的時候，她的老婆就戴上帽子出去採買，有菲利浦陪著。布萊克斯泰勃是個漁村，鎮上有一條大街，店鋪、銀行、醫生診所以及兩三個輪船船東都住在這條街上；小港口的周遭都是破舊的街道，住著漁民和窮苦村民；不過因為他們都去小禮拜堂，就甭提他們了。凱里太太在街上看到不同教派的牧師，就跨到街對面去，避免同他們打照面；如果來不及，就目不斜視地盯著路面。

在這樣一條大街上，竟然有三座小禮拜堂，牧師一直認為這是無法接受的醜聞：他總覺得政府該出來干預，不准他們建堂。

牧師娘在布萊克斯泰勃買東西真不簡單，別談教區教堂離小鎮有兩哩路，還必須只跟教友作買賣；對非教友來講，買東西是件很平常的事。凱里太太很清楚，牧師家的買東西習慣，對商家的信仰有很大的影響。鎮上有兩家開肉鋪的，都上教區教堂，他們不明白牧師為什麼不能同時光顧兩家，也不滿意牧師半年買這家，下半年買另一家的辦法。那家輪空的，不斷的揚言不上教堂了；牧師有時候必須威脅他：不上教堂是個大錯，如果罪孽重大，竟敢跑去小禮拜堂，那時，即使他賣的肉有多好，凱里先生被逼得只好與他斷絕往來。

凱里太太經常到銀行，替丈夫傳信息信給經理喬賽亞．格雷夫斯Josiah Graves。格雷夫斯是教堂的詩班指揮，又是財務和教堂看守。他高高瘦瘦的，蠟黃臉上加上長鼻子，滿頭白髮，在菲利浦心目中，像個很老的人。他管教區帳目，安排詩班的獻詩和主日學的課程。雖說教區教堂沒有風琴，但是他所帶領的詩班，在布萊克斯泰勃卻被公認是全肯特Kent 郡最好的；只要有什麼慶典儀式，比如主教來施堅信禮，教區長在收獲感恩節講道，所有該做的準備工作都由他一手包辦。他處理起教區各樣的事務，都獨斷獨行，頂多和牧師來個敷衍式的諮詢；牧師儘管是多一事不如少一事，但對這位教堂看守的作風非常憤恨。他真是把自己當成是教區首要人物了。牧師總是告訴她老婆，如果喬賽亞．格雷夫斯不守本份，有一天要讓他好看；不過，凱里太太總是勸他忍耐：格雷夫斯居心良好，如果他少了紳士風度，也不全是他的錯。牧師採取了寬恕的態度，以恪守基督徒的美德自慰；但是他背地裡罵這位教堂看守是“俾斯麥Bismarck ”當作報復。

有一回這倆人終於吵得不可開交；凱里太太每想起那段焦頭爛額的日子，還心有餘悸：

有個保守黨候選人宣布要在布萊克斯泰勃發表競選演說；喬賽亞．格雷夫斯把演說安排在主堂，然後去告訴凱里先生，說自己到時候也希望在上頭講幾句。看來那位候選人已邀請喬賽亞．格雷夫斯上座。凱里先生很受不了。他很堅定的認為，他的牧師袍必須得到尊重；只要牧師還在，居然讓教堂看守坐上座是夠荒唐的。他提醒喬賽亞．格雷夫斯，牧師就是教區的代表人。喬賽亞．格雷夫斯回答說：他最認同教會的尊嚴，但這次是政治的事務；他反過來提醒牧師別忘他們的救主耶穌基督的教訓：「屬該撒Caesar 的，當歸給該撒。」對此，牧師回應：「魔鬼也會引用聖經的字句來達到自己的目的，」他有絕對的主權支配主堂，如果不請他當主席，他就拒絕用它來開那個政治會議。

喬賽亞．格雷夫斯告訴凱里先生說：悉聽尊便；至於他要怎麼做：他覺得衛斯理的Wesleyan 禮拜堂也是個很合適的場地。凱里先生回答：如果喬賽亞．格雷夫斯膽敢踏進一個比異教徒廟宇好不了多少的地方，他就不適合擔任一個基督教教區的看守。所以喬賽亞．格雷夫斯馬上辭掉了所有職位，並於當晚派人到教堂取回他的袈裟和法衣。替他管家的妹妹格雷夫斯小姐，也放棄了產婦會的秘書職務。產婦會發放給貧苦孕婦絨布、嬰兒毛巾、煤以及五先令的現金。

凱里先生說：他總算真正的當家作主了。但是很快的，他看到自己對所有必須處理的事一竅不通；而喬賽亞．格雷夫斯，憤怒之餘也發現自己失掉生活中的主要樂趣。凱里太太和格雷夫斯小姐也因著這場爭吵而深為苦惱；她們通了幾封信以後就見面了，決心要解決這個問題：她們一個跟自己的丈夫說，一個向自己的哥哥講，從早說到晚；因為她們所規勸的也正是這兩紳士心裡想要的，所以過了三個星期的焦慮之後，終於握手言歡。這對雙方都有好處，但他們都把它歸於對救贖主的愛。演說會還是在主堂裡舉行，由醫生主持，凱里先生和喬賽亞．格雷夫斯都在會上講了話。

凱里太太先辦完銀行家的事，然後她上樓同他的妹妹小敘，當兩位淑女談到副牧師，或者威爾遜太太的新帽子等等教區裡的事兒時──威爾遜先生是布萊克斯泰勃的首富，估計每年至少有五百英鎊的收入，他娶了自己的廚娘做老婆──菲利浦端正地坐在只用來接待客人的不透風客廳裡，認真地看著魚缸內穿梭的金魚。客廳窗戶整天關著，只在早上開幾分鐘，讓房間透氣，客廳裡的悶臭味，使得菲利浦好像一聞就莫名的連想到銀行。

當下，凱里太太想到必須去雜貨店，他們繼續去辦事。買完東西之後，他們常沿著一條兩旁都是小木屋的街道（有個漁夫坐在自家門口補網，魚網就晾掛在門板上），直直通到個小海灘。街尾三面都是倉庫，但是仍可看見大海。凱里太太在那兒佇立幾分鐘，望著渾濁發黃的水面（誰知道她在想什麼？）；這時，菲利浦就找扁平的石頭，打水漂為樂。然後，他們慢慢地走回程，路經郵局順便看個時間，又跟坐在窗口縫衣服的醫生娘威格廉Wigram 太太點頭打招呼，然後就到家了。

下午一時吃午飯；星期1~3，有牛肉、烤的、小片的、剁碎的；星期4~6，吃羊肉。星期天吃一隻自家養的雞。下午是菲利浦做功課的時間，教他拉丁文和數學的伯父自己兩樣都不通。伯母教他法文和鋼琴，法文她是文盲。不過鋼琴還熟練到能為自己伴奏好幾首她已唱了三十年的老歌。威廉伯父常常告訴菲利浦，在他還當副牧師的時候，他太太能背十二首歌，無論何時候請她表演，她都能拿得出來。就是現在，牧師樓有茶會的時候，她還不時高歌一曲。凱里家只會邀請一些人，他們的茶會客人不外是：副牧師、格雷夫斯兄妹、威格廉醫生夫婦。用過茶點之後，格雷夫斯小姐演奏一兩首孟德爾頌的《無言歌》Mendelssohn's Songs without Words，而凱里太太就唱《當燕子飛回家的時候》When the Swallows Homeward Fly 或者《跑呀，跑呀，我的小馬》Trot, Trot, My Pony。

不過凱里家並不常舉行茶會；準備起來很麻煩，等到客人都走了，他們都感到筋疲力盡。他們寧願自個兒品茶，茶點後玩十五子棋。凱里太太得讓她的老公贏，因為他輸了不高興。晚上八時吃晚餐冷食。因為瑪麗安弄完茶點之後，不願再做菜，所以隨變有啥吃啥。凱里太太幫著收拾碗盤。通常凱里太太只吃塗牛油的麵包，再吃點煮過的水果，但是牧師還得吃一片肉。晚飯一結束，凱里太太便打鈴晚禱，隨後，菲利浦上床睡覺。他不讓瑪麗安替他脫衣服，反抗一陣子以後，終於贏得了自己穿衣、脫衣的權利。瑪麗安在九點時會把盛著雞蛋的盤子端進來。凱里太太在每個雞蛋上寫上日期，也把數目記在本子上；然後，她挽著餐具籃上樓去。凱里先生繼續讀一本他的那些老書，只要鐘一敲十點，他就站起來，熄了燈，跟著老婆上床。

菲利浦剛來時，要安排他在哪天晚上洗澡是有點困難。由於廚房的鍋爐壞掉了，所以無法同一天讓兩個人洗澡。在布萊克斯泰勃有浴室的僅僅威爾遜Wilson 先生一家，他是被視為存心擺闊的。

星期一晚上，瑪麗安在廚房洗澡，因為她喜歡乾淨地一週的開始。威廉伯父不能在星期六洗澡，因為要面對辛苦的主日，而他每洗完澡總覺得有點倦怠，所以他在星期五洗澡。凱里太太在星期四洗澡也是為了相同樣的理由。看來很自然的，菲利浦只能在星期六洗澡了，但是瑪麗安說：星期六她不能讓爐子一直燒到晚上，因為星期天得燒那麼多菜，除了做糕餅，還有一堆想不到的事，她覺得不能在星期六晚上替孩子洗澡；而這孩子還不會替自己洗澡。凱里太太覺得給男孩子洗澡很不好意思；牧師得準備他的布道。但是牧師堅持──菲利浦一定得乾乾淨淨、整整齊齊地迎接主日。瑪麗安說，她寧可走路也不願忍受這種事──幹了十八年，她不想再多負擔一點工作了，他們應該考慮到這一點──菲利浦也說，他不需要別人幫他洗澡，何況他自己可以洗得很好。

最後問題解決了。瑪麗安說：她敢斷定他自己是洗不乾淨的，與其讓孩子髒著身子──並非因為隔天是主日，而是她不能接受有身上洗不乾淨的孩子──倒不如讓自己累死，管它是不是周末的晚上。

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One day was very like another at the vicarage.

Soon after breakfast Mary Ann brought in The Times. Mr. Carey shared it with two neighbors. He had it from ten till one, when the gardener took it over to Mr. Ellis at the Limes, with whom it remained till seven; then it was taken to Miss Brooks at the Manor House, who, since she got it late, had the advantage of keeping it. In summer Mrs. Carey, when she was making jam, often asked her for a copy to cover the pots with. When the Vicar settled down to his paper his wife put on her bonnet and went out to do the shopping. Philip accompanied her. Blackstable was a fishing village. It consisted of a high street in which were the shops, the bank, the doctor's house, and the houses of two or three coalship owners; round the little harbor were shabby streets in which lived fishermen and poor people; but since they went to chapel they were of no account. When Mrs. Carey passed the dissenting ministers in the street she stepped over to the other side to avoid meeting them, but if there was not time for this fixed her eyes on the pavement. It was a scandal to which the Vicar had never resigned himself that there were three chapels in the High Street: he could not help feeling that the law should have stepped in to prevent their erection. Shopping in Blackstable was not a simple matter; for dissent, helped by the fact that the parish church was two miles from the town, was very common; and it was necessary to deal only with churchgoers; Mrs. Carey knew perfectly that the vicarage custom might make all the difference to a tradesman's faith. There were two butchers who went to church, and they would not understand that the Vicar could not deal with both of them at once; nor were they satisfied with his simple plan of going for six months to one and for six months to the other. The butcher who was not sending meat to the vicarage constantly threatened not to come to church, and the Vicar was sometimes obliged to make a threat: it was very wrong of him not to come to church, but if he carried iniquity further and actually went to chapel, then of course, excellent as his meat was, Mr. Carey would be forced to leave him for ever. Mrs. Carey often stopped at the bank to deliver a message to Josiah Graves, the manager, who was choir-master, treasurer, and churchwarden. He was a tall, thin man with a sallow face and a long nose; his hair was very white, and to Philip he seemed extremely old. He kept the parish accounts, arranged the treats for the choir and the schools; though there was no organ in the parish church, it was generally considered (in Blackstable) that the choir he led was the best in Kent; and when there was any ceremony, such as a visit from the Bishop for confirmation or from the Rural Dean to preach at the Harvest Thanksgiving, he made the necessary preparations. But he had no hesitation in doing all manner of things without more than a perfunctory consultation with the Vicar, and the Vicar, though always ready to be saved trouble, much resented the churchwarden's managing ways. He really seemed to look upon himself as the most important person in the parish. Mr. Carey constantly told his wife that if Josiah Graves did not take care he would give him a good rap over the knuckles one day; but Mrs. Carey advised him to bear with Josiah Graves: he meant well, and it was not his fault if he was not quite a gentleman. The Vicar, finding his comfort in the practice of a Christian virtue, exercised forbearance; but he revenged himself by calling the churchwarden Bismarck behind his back.

Once there had been a serious quarrel between the pair, and Mrs. Carey still thought of that anxious time with dismay. The Conservative candidate had announced his intention of addressing a meeting at Blackstable; and Josiah Graves, having arranged that it should take place in the Mission Hall, went to Mr. Carey and told him that he hoped he would say a few words. It appeared that the candidate had asked Josiah Graves to take the chair. This was more than Mr. Carey could put up with. He had firm views upon the respect which was due to the cloth, and it was ridiculous for a churchwarden to take the chair at a meeting when the Vicar was there. He reminded Josiah Graves that parson meant person, that is, the vicar was the person of the parish. Josiah Graves answered that he was the first to recognise the dignity of the church, but this was a matter of politics, and in his turn he reminded the Vicar that their Blessed Saviour had enjoined upon them to render unto Caesar the things that were Caesar's. To this Mr. Carey replied that the devil could quote scripture to his purpose, himself had sole authority over the Mission Hall, and if he were not asked to be chairman he would refuse the use of it for a political meeting. Josiah Graves told Mr. Carey that he might do as he chose, and for his part he thought the Wesleyan Chapel would be an equally suitable place. Then Mr. Carey said that if Josiah Graves set foot in what was little better than a heathen temple he was not fit to be churchwarden in a Christian parish. Josiah Graves thereupon resigned all his offices, and that very evening sent to the church for his cassock and surplice. His sister, Miss Graves, who kept house for him, gave up her secretaryship of the Maternity Club, which provided the pregnant poor with flannel, baby linen, coals, and five shillings. Mr. Carey said he was at last master in his own house. But soon he found that he was obliged to see to all sorts of things that he knew nothing about; and Josiah Graves, after the first moment of irritation, discovered that he had lost his chief interest in life. Mrs. Carey and Miss Graves were much distressed by the quarrel; they met after a discreet exchange of letters, and made up their minds to put the matter right: they talked, one to her husband, the other to her brother, from morning till night; and since they were persuading these gentlemen to do what in their hearts they wanted, after three weeks of anxiety a reconciliation was effected. It was to both their interests, but they ascribed it to a common love for their Redeemer. The meeting was held at the Mission Hall, and the doctor was asked to be chairman. Mr. Carey and Josiah Graves both made speeches.

When Mrs. Carey had finished her business with the banker, she generally went upstairs to have a little chat with his sister; and while the ladies talked of parish matters, the curate or the new bonnet of Mrs. Wilson—Mr. Wilson was the richest man in Blackstable, he was thought to have at least five hundred a year, and he had married his cook—Philip sat demurely in the stiff parlour, used only to receive visitors, and busied himself with the restless movements of goldfish in a bowl. The windows were never opened except to air the room for a few minutes in the morning, and it had a stuffy smell which seemed to Philip to have a mysterious connection with banking.

Then Mrs. Carey remembered that she had to go to the grocer, and they continued their way. When the shopping was done they often went down a side street of little houses, mostly of wood, in which fishermen dwelt (and here and there a fisherman sat on his doorstep mending his nets, and nets hung to dry upon the doors), till they came to a small beach, shut in on each side by warehouses, but with a view of the sea. Mrs. Carey stood for a few minutes and looked at it, it was turbid and yellow, [and who knows what thoughts passed through her mind?] while Philip searched for flat stones to play ducks and drakes. Then they walked slowly back. They looked into the post office to get the right time, nodded to Mrs. Wigram the doctor's wife, who sat at her window sewing, and so got home.

Dinner was at one o'clock; and on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday it consisted of beef, roast, hashed, and minced, and on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of mutton. On Sunday they ate one of their own chickens. In the afternoon Philip did his lessons, He was taught Latin and mathematics by his uncle who knew neither, and French and the piano by his aunt. Of French she was ignorant, but she knew the piano well enough to accompany the old-fashioned songs she had sung for thirty years. Uncle William used to tell Philip that when he was a curate his wife had known twelve songs by heart, which she could sing at a moment's notice whenever she was asked. She often sang still when there was a tea-party at the vicarage. There were few people whom the Careys cared to ask there, and their parties consisted always of the curate, Josiah Graves with his sister, Dr. Wigram and his wife. After tea Miss Graves played one or two of Mendelssohn's Songs without Words, and Mrs. Carey sang When the Swallows Homeward Fly, or Trot, Trot, My Pony.

But the Careys did not give tea-parties often; the preparations upset them, and when their guests were gone they felt themselves exhausted. They preferred to have tea by themselves, and after tea they played backgammon. Mrs. Carey arranged that her husband should win, because he did not like losing. They had cold supper at eight. It was a scrappy meal because Mary Ann resented getting anything ready after tea, and Mrs. Carey helped to clear away. Mrs. Carey seldom ate more than bread and butter, with a little stewed fruit to follow, but the Vicar had a slice of cold meat. Immediately after supper Mrs. Carey rang the bell for prayers, and then Philip went to bed. He rebelled against being undressed by Mary Ann and after a while succeeded in establishing his right to dress and undress himself. At nine o'clock Mary Ann brought in the eggs and the plate. Mrs. Carey wrote the date on each egg and put the number down in a book. She then took the plate-basket on her arm and went upstairs. Mr. Carey continued to read one of his old books, but as the clock struck ten he got up, put out the lamps, and followed his wife to bed.

When Philip arrived there was some difficulty in deciding on which evening he should have his bath. It was never easy to get plenty of hot water, since the kitchen boiler did not work, and it was impossible for two persons to have a bath on the same day. The only man who had a bathroom in Blackstable was Mr. Wilson, and it was thought ostentatious of him. Mary Ann had her bath in the kitchen on Monday night, because she liked to begin the week clean. Uncle William could not have his on Saturday, because he had a heavy day before him and he was always a little tired after a bath, so he had it on Friday. Mrs. Carey had hers on Thursday for the same reason. It looked as though Saturday were naturally indicated for Philip, but Mary Ann said she couldn't keep the fire up on Saturday night: what with all the cooking on Sunday, having to make pastry and she didn't know what all, she did not feel up to giving the boy his bath on Saturday night; and it was quite clear that he could not bath himself. Mrs. Carey was shy about bathing a boy, and of course the Vicar had his sermon. But the Vicar insisted that Philip should be clean and sweet for the lord's Day. Mary Ann said she would rather go than be put upon—and after eighteen years she didn't expect to have more work given her, and they might show some consideration—and Philip said he didn't want anyone to bath him, but could very well bath himself. This settled it. Mary Ann said she was quite sure he wouldn't bath himself properly, and rather than he should go dirty—and not because he was going into the presence of the Lord, but because she couldn't abide a boy who wasn't properly washed—she'd work herself to the bone even if it was Saturday night.