人性的枷鎖(1)

人性的枷鎖OF HUMAN BONDAGE

BY W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM毛姆

1915

中譯Bill Lin

第1章 生離

破曉天色陰沉沉的；烏雲密佈，刺骨的寒風，像要下雪了。房間裡睡著個小孩，一名女僕走進來，拉開窗簾。無意識地朝對面那幢有廊柱的灰泥房子望了一眼，然後走到孩子床邊……

「醒醒，菲利浦Philip，」她說。

她掀開被子，抱起了孩子，帶他下樓；孩子還是半睡半醒的。

「你媽媽找你，」她說。

她走下一層樓，推開房門，將小孩抱到床前。床上躺著一位婦人，是孩子的母親。她張開雙臂，讓孩子依偎在自己身邊。孩子沒問為什麼要把他叫醒。婦人吻吻孩子的眼睛，並用那雙纖弱的手，透過孩子的白絨布睡衣，感受到他溫暖的身子。她緊緊的抱住他。

「還想睡嗎，寶貝？」她說。

她的聲音虛弱無力，彷彿是來自遙遠的地方。孩子沒有回應，只愜意地笑；他很高興躺在這暖和的大床上，又被溫柔的雙臂摟著。孩子緊偎著母親，蜷起身子，想把自己縮得更小些；他睡惺惺地吻著母親。不一會，闔上眼皮，酣然入睡了。醫生走過來，站在床前。

「噢，不要這麼快把他抱走，」婦人有氣無力地說。

醫生沒有答話，只是嚴肅地望著她。婦人再次親著孩子，她心裡明白醫生不會讓孩子在她身邊待多久的；她的手順著孩子的身體下滑，一直到他的腳；她把右腳捏在手裡，摸到了小腳趾。然後慢慢地把手移到左腳上。她哭了出來。

「怎麼啦？」醫生說，「你累了吧。」

她搖搖頭，哽咽著說不出話來，眼淚沿著雙頰撲簌而下。醫生彎下身子。

「讓我來抱他。」

她衰弱到無法違拗醫生的意思，只得任他抱走了孩子。醫生把孩子交還給保姆。

「最好把孩子擺回自己的床上去。」

「好的，先生。」仍在呼呼熟睡的孩子被抱開了。他的母親這時更是心碎了，低聲嗚咽起來。

「可憐的孩子，他以後要怎麼辦才好？」

幫做月子的看護在一旁好言勸慰，想讓她平靜下來。隔了一會，她哭到沒力氣就停了。醫生走到房間另側的一張桌前，桌上有具剛生下的死嬰，用毛巾蓋著。他掀開毛巾看了看。雖然醫生的身子被屏風遮住，但床上的產婦還是猜著了他在幹什麼。

「是女的還是男的？」她低聲問看護。

「也是男孩。」

婦人不做聲。不一會，孩子的保姆回來了。她走到床頭前。

「菲利浦少爺還沒醒，」她說。沉默了一陣子；醫生再給病人量一次脈搏。

「我想這會兒沒我的事了，」他說。「我早餐後再來。」

「讓我領您出去，」孩子的保姆說。

他們默默地步下樓梯。到了門廊，醫生停下來。

「你們有去請凱里Carey太太的大伯了，是嗎？」

「是的，先生。」

「妳知道他什麼時候會到？」

「不知道，先生，我正在等電報。」

「那小孩呢？我覺得最好不要讓他待在這兒。」

「瓦特津Watkin小姐說她會照顧他，先生。」

「她是誰？」

「是孩子的教母，先生。您認為凱里太太的病會好嗎，先生？」

醫生搖搖頭。

*******************

The day broke gray and dull. The clouds hung heavily, and there was a rawness in the air that suggested snow. A woman servant came into a room in which a child was sleeping and drew the curtains. She glanced mechanically at the house opposite, a stucco house with a portico, and went to the child's bed.

"Wake up, Philip," she said.

She pulled down the bed-clothes, took him in her arms, and carried him downstairs. He was only half awake.

"Your mother wants you," she said.

She opened the door of a room on the floor below and took the child over to a bed in which a woman was lying. It was his mother. She stretched out her arms, and the child nestled by her side. He did not ask why he had been awakened. The woman kissed his eyes, and with thin, small hands felt the warm body through his white flannel nightgown. She pressed him closer to herself.

"Are you sleepy, darling?" she said.

Her voice was so weak that it seemed to come already from a great distance. The child did not answer, but smiled comfortably. He was very happy in the large, warm bed, with those soft arms about him. He tried to make himself smaller still as he cuddled up against his mother, and he kissed her sleepily. In a moment he closed his eyes and was fast asleep. The doctor came forwards and stood by the bed-side.

"Oh, don't take him away yet," she moaned.

The doctor, without answering, looked at her gravely. Knowing she would not be allowed to keep the child much longer, the woman kissed him again; and she passed her hand down his body till she came to his feet; she held the right foot in her hand and felt the five small toes; and then slowly passed her hand over the left one. She gave a sob.

"What's the matter?" said the doctor. "You're tired."

She shook her head, unable to speak, and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

The doctor bent down.

"Let me take him."

She was too weak to resist his wish, and she gave the child up. The doctor handed him back to his nurse.

"You'd better put him back in his own bed."

"Very well, sir." The little boy, still sleeping, was taken away. His mother sobbed now broken-heartedly.

"What will happen to him, poor child?"

The monthly nurse tried to quiet her, and presently, from exhaustion, the crying ceased. The doctor walked to a table on the other side of the room, upon which, under a towel, lay the body of a still-born child. He lifted the towel and looked. He was hidden from the bed by a screen, but the woman guessed what he was doing.

"Was it a girl or a boy?" she whispered to the nurse.

"Another boy."

The woman did not answer. In a moment the child's nurse came back. She approached the bed.

"Master Philip never woke up," she said. There was a pause. Then the doctor felt his patient's pulse once more.

"I don't think there's anything I can do just now," he said. "I'll call again after breakfast."

"I'll show you out, sir," said the child's nurse.

They walked downstairs in silence. In the hall the doctor stopped.

"You've sent for Mrs. Carey's brother-in-law, haven't you?"

"Yes, sir."

"D'you know at what time he'll be here?"

"No, sir, I'm expecting a telegram."

"What about the little boy? I should think he'd be better out of the way."

"Miss Watkin said she'd take him, sir."

"Who's she?"

"She's his godmother, sir. D'you think Mrs. Carey will get over it, sir?"

The doctor shook his head.