C.S. Lewis
1960
Bill Lin 譯
導讀 DeepSeek
在我們開口說「我寬恕」或「求祢寬恕」之前
C.S.路易斯的〈論寬恕〉猶如一盞無影燈，以冷峻而精準的光芒，照向我們信仰與人際中最常自我蒙蔽的角落。我們習慣將「寬恕」掛在嘴邊，不論是在誦念信經時，還是在處理傷痛時。然而，路易斯迫使我們停下，審視自己內心真正的活動。
這篇文章要破解的，是兩個我們習以為常的謬誤：
對自己，我們常把「求上帝寬恕」偷換成「請上帝接納我的藉口」。我們急於解釋背景、苦衷、無奈，彷彿只要理由足夠，過犯便能消解。但路易斯犀利地指出：若真無罪，何需赦免？若有罪，理由便非關鍵。 真正的認罪，是鼓起勇氣，將那毫無藉口、醜惡不堪的「罪本身」帶到光明之下，並相信有一種恩典，能覆蓋這不可原諒之物。
對他人，我們常把「我寬恕你」誤解為「我裁定你情有可原」或「我將此事抹去不提」。路易斯卻說，寬恕的前提，恰恰是正視對方「確有過犯」。寬恕不是否定公平（該找的藉口，即公平的部份，仍應找），而是在公平的盡頭，發動一次超越性的和好行動。這行動不依賴於對方的悔改，而是根源於一個更深刻的事實：我們自己，正是被上帝如此寬恕的。
因此，路易斯將我們推向一個既嚴酷又充滿希望的結論：
嚴酷在於：上帝寬恕我們的條件，竟與我們寬恕他人的程度綁定（「你們饒恕人的過犯，你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯」）。這不是交易，而是揭示了一種屬靈的必然：一顆被寬恕浸透的心，自然會流出寬恕。拒絕寬恕，便是拒絕讓上帝的寬恕在自己生命裡作工。
希望在於：這讓我們從模糊的情感（「我感覺不再生氣了」）進入清晰的意志行動（「我選擇饒恕，因我已被饒恕」）。最難的，不是寬恕一次驚天背叛，而是寬恕日復一日、細碎磨人的冒犯。力量從何而來？路易斯指出，正在於每晚真誠禱告「免我們的債，如同我們免了人的債」那一刻——我們重新對準自己在宇宙中的真實位置：一群蒙恩的債徒。
在閱讀正文時，您可以帶著以下問題思考：
我最近一次求上帝寬恕時，內心是在陳述理由，還是在承認罪性？
有沒有哪個人或哪件事，我以為自己「寬恕」了，其實只是在心裡為它找了個「合理」的解釋從而壓抑了下去？
《主禱文》中這句關於寬恕的禱告，對我而言是輕飄的口號，還是具有實際約束力的生命準則？
現在，請進入路易斯的論證。這不是一堂輕鬆的道德課，而是一次對靈魂深處的誠實勘查。準備好，它可能會令您坐立不安，也或許，會帶來前所未有的釋放。
***** 譯文
我們在教堂裡（也在教堂外）常常不假思索地說了很多話。例如，我們在信經中說“我信罪得赦免”。我念這句話好幾年後，才問自己：為什麼它會被寫進信經裡？乍看之下，似乎沒什麼必要。我想：「對一個基督徒，他當然相信罪得赦免。不用說，必然如此。」
但編纂信經的人顯然認為，這是我們信仰中，每次去教會都得被提醒的那一部份。而我開始意識到，就我而言，他們是對的。相信罪得赦免並不像我想的那麼容易。如果我們不持續的加以保養擦亮，真正的信仰很容易溜掉。
我們相信神會赦免我們的罪；但我們也相信，除非我們寬恕別人對我們的過犯，否則祂不會赦免我們的罪。這句話的後半部毋庸置疑。在主禱文中，我們的主曾鄭重地闡明了這一點：如果你不寬恕別人，你也不會得到寬恕。
沒有例外。他並沒有說我們應該寬恕別人的罪過，只要這些罪過不太嚴重，或者有情有可原的情況，或者諸如此類。我們必須寬恕所有的罪過，無論多麼惡毒，多麼卑鄙，無論犯下多少次。如果我們不這樣做，我們自己的罪過也必將不被寬恕。
現在看來，我們常常在理解神赦免我們罪孽以及我們被教導要寬恕他人罪孽這兩方面犯錯。先說說神的赦罪，我發現，當我以為自己在祈求神寬恕我時，實際上（除非我非常仔細地審視自己）我常常是在祈求他做完全不同的事情。我祈求的不是寬恕我，而是原諒我。
但寬恕和原諒之間有著天壤之別。寬恕意味著：「是的，你做了這件事，但我接受你的道歉；我永遠不會記恨你，我們之間的關係將恢復如初。」 如果一個人真的沒有錯，那就沒有什麼需要寬恕的。從這個意義上講，寬恕和原諒幾乎是截然相反的。
當然，在許多情況下，無論是在神與人之間，或是人與人之間，都可能存在神與人之間的複雜關係。起初看似罪過的部分，最終卻發現並非任何人的過錯，可以被原諒；剩下的部分則被寬恕。如果你有完美的藉口，你就不需要被寬恕；如果你所有的行為都需要被寬恕，那麼就沒有任何藉口可言。
但問題在於，我們所謂的“祈求神的寬恕”，往往實際上是在請求神接受我們的藉口。導致我們犯這種錯誤的原因在於，我們通常會找到一些藉口，一些「情有可原的情況」。我們急於向神（也向自己）指出這些藉口，卻往往忽略了至關重要的一點：那就是剩下的部分，藉口無法涵蓋的部分，那些不可原諒但（感謝神）並非不可寬恕的部分。如果我們忘記了這一點，就會誤以為自己已經悔改並得到了寬恕，而實際上，我們只是在沒有藉口的情況下滿足了自己。縱使這些藉口或許很糟；我們總是太容易自我滿足。
針對這種危險，有兩個處方。一是要記住，神比我們更清楚所有真正的藉口。如果確實存在“情有可原的情況”，不必擔心祂會忽略它們。祂常常知道許多我們從未想到的藉口，因此，謙卑的靈魂在死後會驚喜地發現，在某些情況下，他們的罪遠比自己想像的要輕。所有真正的藉口，祂都會原諒。我們唯一需要帶到祂面前的是那些不可寬恕的部分，也就是罪本身。
我們只會浪費時間提起那些（我們認為）可以被原諒的部分。當你去看醫生時，你會給他看你身體不舒服的地方──比如說，手臂骨折了。如果你一直解釋說你的腿、喉嚨和眼睛都沒問題，那純粹是浪費時間。你或許誤以為它們沒問題，不管如何，就算它們真的沒問題，醫生也會知道。
第二個處方是真正相信罪得赦免。我們常常急於找藉口，很大程度上是因為我們不真正相信罪得赦免，認為除非神確信我們能找到某種對我們有利的理由，否則祂不會接納我們。但這根本不是赦免。真正的赦免意味著，在給予所有寬容之後，仍然直視那無法辯解的罪，看清它所有的恐怖、污穢、卑鄙和惡意，卻仍然完全與犯下此罪的人和解。
當我們談到原諒他人時，情況既有相同之處，也有不同之處。相同之處在於，原諒並不意味著開脫。很多人似乎誤以為原諒就是開脫。他們認為，如果你請求他們原諒一個欺騙或欺凌過他們的人，就等於試圖掩蓋欺騙或欺凌的真相。但如果真是如此，那就沒有什麼好原諒的了。（這並不意味著你必須相信他接下來的承諾。而是意味著你必須竭盡全力消除心中所有的怨恨——任何羞辱、傷害他或報復他的念頭。）
這種情況與你向神祈求寬恕的情況之間的區別在於：我們對自己犯錯時，往往太容易接受藉口；而對於他人的過錯，我們卻難以輕易接受。
就我自己的罪過而言，我可以肯定（雖然並非絕對肯定）那些藉口遠沒有我想像的那麼站得住腳；而就他人對我的過錯而言，我可以肯定（雖然並非絕對肯定）那些藉口比我想像的要好得多。
因此，我們首先必須注意一切可能表明對方並非如我們所想的那樣有罪的證據。即便他罪責難逃，我們仍然必須寬恕他；即便他表面上的罪責有百分之九十九可以用合理的藉口來解釋，寬恕的問題仍然始於那百分之一的罪責。真正能產生合理藉口的寬恕，並非基督教的博愛，而只是公平。成為基督徒意味著寬恕不可原諒之事，因為神已經寬恕了你身上不可原諒的罪。
這很難。寬恕一次重大的傷害或許並不難。但要寬恕日常生活中無止盡的挑釁──不斷地寬恕專橫的婆婆、霸凌的丈夫、嘮叨的妻子、自私的女兒、欺騙的兒子──我們怎麼可能做到呢？
我認為，唯有牢記我們所處的位置，唯有在每晚禱告時真心實意地說出“寬恕我們的罪過，如同我們寬恕得罪我們的人”，我們才能獲得寬恕。除此之外，別無其他條件。拒絕寬恕，就是拒絕神對我們的憐憫。沒有任何例外，神言出必行。
****
We say a
great many things in church (and out of church too) without thinking of what we
are saying. For instance, we say in the Creed "I believe in the
forgiveness of sins." I had been saying it for several years before I
asked myself why it was in the Creed. At first sight it seems hardly worth
putting in. "If one is a Christian," I thought "of course one
believes in the forgiveness of sins. It goes without saying." But the
people who compiled the Creed apparently thought that this was a part of our
belief which we needed to be reminded of every time we went to church. And I
have begun to see that, as far as I am concerned, they were right. To believe
in the forgiveness of sins is not so easy as I thought. Real belief in it is
the sort of thing that easily slips away if we don't keep on polishing it up.
We believe
that God forgives us our sins; but also that He will not do so unless we
forgive other people their sins against us. There is no doubt about the second
part of this statement. It is in the Lord's Prayer, it was emphatically stated
by our Lord. If you don't forgive you will not be forgiven. No exceptions to
it. He doesn't say that we are to forgive other people's sins, provided they
are not too frightful, or provided there are extenuating circumstances, or
anything of that sort. We are to forgive them all, however spiteful, however
mean, however often they are repeated. If we don't we shall be forgiven none of
our own.
Now it
seems to me that we often make a mistake both about God's forgiveness of our
sins and about the forgiveness we are told to offer to other people's sins.
Take it first about God's forgiveness, I find that when I think I am asking God
to forgive me I am often in reality (unless I watch myself very carefully)
asking Him to do something quite different. I am asking him not to forgive me
but to excuse me. But there is all the difference in the world between
forgiving and excusing. Forgiveness says, "Yes, you have done this thing,
but I accept your apology; I will never hold it against you and everything
between us two will be exactly as it was before." If one was not really to
blame then there is nothing to forgive. In that sense forgiveness and excusing
are almost opposites. Of course, in dozens of cases, either between God and
man, or between one man and another, there may be a mixture of the two. Part of
what at first seemed to be the sins turns out to be really nobody's fault and
is excused; the bit that is left over is forgiven. If you had a perfect excuse,
you would not need forgiveness; if the whole of your actions needs forgiveness,
then there was no excuse for it. But the trouble is that what we call
"asking God's forgiveness" very often really consists in asking God
to accept our excuses. What leads us into this mistake is the fact that there
usually is some amount of excuse, some "extenuating circumstances."
We are so very anxious to point these things out to God (and to ourselves) that
we are apt to forget the very important thing; that is, the bit left over, the
bit which excuses don't cover, the bit which is inexcusable but not, thank God,
unforgivable. And if we forget this, we shall go away imagining that we have
repented and been forgiven when all that has really happened is that we have
satisfied ourselves without own excuses. They may be very bad excuses; we are
all too easily satisfied about ourselves.
There are
two remedies for this danger. One is to remember that God knows all the real
excuses very much better than we do. If there are real "extenuating
circumstances" there is no fear that He will overlook them. Often He must
know many excuses that we have never even thought of, and therefore humble
souls will, after death, have the delightful surprise of discovering that on
certain occasions they sinned much less than they thought. All the real
excusing He will do. What we have got to take to Him is the inexcusable bit,
the sin. We are only wasting our time talking about all the parts which can (we
think) be excused. When you go to a Dr. you show him the bit of you that is
wrong - say, a broken arm. It would be a mere waste of time to keep on
explaining that your legs and throat and eyes are all right. You may be
mistaken in thinking so, and anyway, if they are really right, the doctor will
know that.
The second
remedy is really and truly to believe in the forgiveness of sins. A great deal
of our anxiety to make excuses comes from not really believing in it, from
thinking that God will not take us to Himself again unless He is satisfied that
some sort of case can be made out in our favor. But that is not forgiveness at
all. Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left
over without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in
all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly
reconciled to the man who has done it.
When it
comes to a question of our forgiving other people, it is partly the same and
partly different. It is the same because, here also forgiving does not mean
excusing. Many people seem to think it does. They think that if you ask them to
forgive someone who has cheated or bullied them you are trying to make out that
there was really no cheating or bullying. But if that were so, there would be
nothing to forgive. (This doesn't mean that you must necessarily believe his
next promise. It does mean that you must make every effort to kill every taste
of resentment in your own heart - every wish to humiliate or hurt him or to pay
him out.) The difference between this situation and the one in which you are
asking God's forgiveness is this. In our own case we accept excuses too easily,
in other people's we do not accept them easily enough. As regards my own sins it
is a safe bet (though not a certainty) that the excuses are not really so good
as I think; as regards other men's sins against me it is a safe bet (though not
a certainty) that the excuses are better than I think. One must therefore begin
by attending to everything which may show that the other man was not so much to
blame as we thought. But even if he is absolutely fully to blame we still have
to forgive him; and even if ninety-nine per cent of his apparent guilt can be
explained away by really good excuses, the problem of forgiveness begins with
the one per cent of guilt that is left over. To excuse, what can really produce
good excuses is not Christian charity; it is only fairness. To be a Christian
means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in
you.
This is
hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single great injury. But to
forgive the incessant provocations of daily life - to keep on forgiving the
bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish
daughter, the deceitful son - How can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering
where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night
"Forgive our trespasses* as we forgive those that trespass against
us." We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to
refuse God's mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means
what He says.
